November 27th, 2020

​Blog Post – b current – Amanda Cordner – Nov 24th
 
Part of me is faking, faking it all just for fun. Part of me is breaking, breaking a part when you come. 
- Blood Orange 
 
“Transcendence. I think it’s about transcendence,” said a text I sent to David last week after our zoom meeting. We are all in search of some form of relief from our realities and sometimes that urge is more than just simply a need for an escape. Sometimes it is a deep core calling to climb beyond ordinary limitations. Gary King wants this. Gary King, “a gay kid from Inglewood Ontario” believes that inside him exists a brash, loud, confident, tell-you-like-it-is-and-doesn’t-give-a-fuck-about-you Black woman. In personifying this being, Gary gets to leave his body for a moment. A body that is a source of ridicule and pain. For an evening, he can slip into his fishnet stockings and heels to enter a plain where beauty and goddess-lie strength transform his very chemistry, breathing firepower into his lungs. Who wouldn’t want to return to this feeling night after night? 
 
And then there’s Desiree. She looks upon her friend and can see “he hasn’t been in a good place”. She does everything a good friend should do. She stands by him, listens to him. She loves him. Gary has supported her over the years of their friendship, uplifting and encouraging her to find her inner strength. She loves that he takes care of her too. Though lately, he has been in need of her care and she can’t remember the last time he hasn’t. So, she goes out with Gary and she watches his transformation. Night after night, she witnesses her friend step out of his body and into another. And as Gary transcends this plain, she is left here on earth feeling the same pain and ridicule on her body… “is he basing this off of some idea he has of me?” Her body and her experiences come with pain too and how does she transcend this? Where does she get to go? What is Desiree’s core calling to climb beyond ordinary limitations? Gary is inspired by Desiree’s strength, “I admire you. I wanna be like you,” he calls out to her as she walks away that night at the club.   
 
Too many nights, she stood in the corner of the club watching her friend dance center without a care in the world. It was fun until it wasn’t anymore.  
 
These are questions we continue to ask in our exploration. Transcendence. What form does it take for Desiree?